Amanda W.

I never quite fit in any conventional mold. A bit of an introverted child, I preferred the forest and my pets over playing with toys and being in large groups. 

My feelings were always very big and sometimes I felt misunderstood because of them. 
The majority of my childhood involved feelings of terror as I could sense - and sometimes see- beings in other dimensions, or energies that no one could else could see. I felt as though I was living "in between worlds", which felt extremely isolating. 

My teenage years were spent dealing with symptoms of Chronic Depression, eating disorder, body dysmorphia, self-harm, addiction, over-sleeping, stomach problems that no one could seem to diagnose, and very low energy were ongoing for years. I was put on many anti-depressants, none of which helped me, but rather caused side effects such as feeling numb, becoming more tired, and weight gain. 

In my twenties and into my thirties I found myself in a co-dependant, often toxic, long-term relationship which sometimes involved physical violence towards myself. 
 
I had a Near Death Experience in 2017 which temporarily transported my awareness "home": a spiritual dimension I was suddenly very familiar with but had forgotten. This NDE initiated a radical shift to minimalism, where I sold my home and all belongings to live from a suitcase and travel abroad long term. I found myself leaving the long term relationship and my 13 year career as a Paramedic within the year after the accident. A new determination to follow the soul rather than social convention began to emerge. 

Minimalism has shown me that all those material things that I thought would keep me happy are actually not necessary at all. The further need for all the things that modern humanity finds indispensable simply fell away in an instant, the moment the "Presence" of "home" made itself known to me on the road that day of the accident. The values of "home" had little to do with the values of modern Earth life. Not only the material stuff, but things like fitting into the mold of society, following trends, competing for recognition, comparison to other people's lives... these things actually were getting in the way of following my soul. 

Time spent "slow-traveling" in places such as East Africa, Mexico, India since 2018 have proven to me that our happinesss and contentedness starts inside. If we honor ourselves, and acknowledge the deep universal love inside us, we immediately "come home". We dwell in "God". For me these moments are now never-ending... a being with a random group of travelers at a dinner party, feeding some take-out to a stray dog, watching the the leaves blow in the wind...the same wind that blows my hair...never alone.

 

With Providence, the right teachers and support seemed to show up at the right time, sometimes a what seemed like the last minute. Dark nights of the soul and the re-emergence of old traumas do not last forever I learned. Although they can come in with great intensity, life indeed does work in cycles. The dark times felt as though they would never end. But after many waves of dark times, I now know that they are just that- waves. When they show up now, they still feel like tight squeezes but I know they don't last forever. 

Things arise when doing deep spiritual work and some things are beautiful but some things are difficult. Painful memories from childhood would surface for me many times, and staying open enough to allow the movement of these things was very uncomfortable and sometimes frightening. I have found, however that facing what needs to be faced and feeling what needs to be felt, with the right support, has been the most liberating of practices and has provided a way leading to long term change. 

Motivated by personal experience in the following areas, I am passionate about coming alongside people experiencing spiritual awakenings, symptoms of PTSD, domestic violence history, religious trauma, issues of death and dying, and narcissistic abuse. 

My coaching style less about "material-world" goal setting and more about offering a place of being witnessed and heard while you move through what is present and discover who you are becoming. I am not a therapist or a counselor. I am a coach who wants you to see your light. I want you imagine who you're becoming. I know that this person is already there beneath some layers of pain, programming, and fear but he or she wants to emerge. When you see more of him/her, anything is possible for you. This person's gifts and purpose cannot help but to spill naturally over into the physical world. 

I enjoy horseback riding, creating art, and creating music. I am volunteer and advocate for womens groups while I travel whenever possible. I am grateful for these volunteering opportunities, as they have paved way for meaningful human connections, given me a place to show up when I have needed to get out of my own head, and remind me that there are some pretty magical people in the world doing some pretty heartfelt things. 

Weird is wonderful. Quirks are divine. Oddities are a key to discovering our miraculous nature.